Life Blog# 3
A family history of anger
I sat on a chair with my back against the wall.
The room was full of candidates, all seated on chairs pinned to the wall and some sat in the middle of the room at a long conference table.
Honestly, I don’t even remember what post it was, but it was in the provincial government, and I was appearing because my father wanted to see me as a government officer.
For as long as I can remember, Mom and Dad always complained about none of us joining the government. Yet, despite all their wishes, their opinion of the government was always scathing. The irony of that wasn’t lost on me.
Talk to Dad about any issue, and you’ll not have to wait long before he unloads on the government in the most vicious abuses known.
He’ll get himself riled up to the point his eyes would turn red and the abuses came out with greater and greater effort — not because he ran out of stock. My Dad has always had unlimited creativity when it came to conjuring up bad words to call someone.
The reason his voice would strain with effort was that his anger would get to a point where the only thing left was just to unload with fists, kicks, and slaps.
They say, “Anger hurts only the one who carries it.” It wasn’t at all difficult for me to learn the meaning of that from an early age.
Dad’s a lost cause at this point. It’s very hard to change habits that have taken a lifetime of practice to perfect. I’ve heard that once you’re 40, your habits are set, and change becomes all the more difficult.
An angry person holds onto a red-hot piece of metal, but instead of letting go, he grabs on tighter, until the metal starts searing his skin and penetrates his flesh.
The situation is even more ironic when you consider that it doesn’t take much to stop this madness. All the angry man has to do is let go.
Caught in the heat of the moment, we don’t realize what we say or do. Later on, when the anger has subsided, regret sets in. The hot metal leaves behind an ugly, indelible mark; uncontrolled anger leaves behind bitter memories, as indelible and ugly as those scars.
In the olden times, people thought anger was a result of possession by spirits.
Watch an angry person up close and you’ll see why: blood-shot eyes, flared nostrils, and brows raised. We speak of “possessed with anger,” because an angry person has lost control to think rationally.
Once you lose the faculty to think rationally, you’re at the mercy of the thing, person, or circumstance that has angered you. Rational and decisive thinking is the only way you become the master of your fate. Anger is reactionary. It’s a sign of weakness.
Instead of letting it dictate your actions and words, control it, because it’s the most destructive of emotions.
In the end, I didn’t get the job… Dad wasn’t happy. But then he never is.
